He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
