Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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