I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
