On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
