i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
