how can u be prego again
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
