so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
