from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
