If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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