so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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