He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
