I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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