I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Dear god my vagina.
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