...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
