Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dad just said "fuck circus"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
