this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
