Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
