The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
