is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
