So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
