I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Slut skills are useful in every country.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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