So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
