i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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