Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
