just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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