So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
