He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
