at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
