i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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