elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
