im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
