I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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