at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
