remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
