Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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