I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
