if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
