Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
