just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
