you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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