love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
