I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
