I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
