would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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