do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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