i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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