Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
