Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
