who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I have aggressive nipples.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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