My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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